name's juno slash aggy, having much trouble in the past, and having too much fun right now. after several months crying over my old blog which scrambled by anonymous haters, i started a new one. not really a new one. but few things had change and i had my life on shape. so, you haters better face me outside this blog because when you face me here, you are utterly idiot.
(L to R : hafis, me, aksa. they were one of the guys who were there to help me when i was down)
(photos courtesy of DWS photoworks)
no offense but i went through a lot of fears and tormented to write this post.
i just want to share, how we grew because of god.
do you remember who i am in last two years?
i was the one they called as "broken heart people".
i have nothing left, nowhere to go, inside i was already dying.
i kept blaming on God why i have to live my life this way, i kept the hatred. as i remember how i was addicted to him eventhough he hurts me--physically and mentally. he even forbids me to do music and drums, i don't know what the reason was. he kept me as a prisoner in my own love.
when we finally broke up, i found out myself miserating. i said i will not grew up well, i will never be a good girl, i will broke. i was hospitalized with strangle marks, cigar marks, burn marks, which makes me look like a frankeinstein. made me fall traumaticly with anyone.
then someone give me a passage; "god knows, but He waits"
this night i fall into a conversation with my drumline teacher. he said briefly, "have you ever think who you are right now? was it okay if you quit drumming once you have succeeded something? maybe if you were still with him, i would never meet you or work with you, or maybe you will not being recognised. your true self will forever hid behind a tyrant relationship. is that what you please?"
he was right. he's truly right.
right after my broke up i build my skill again.
and here i am.
if i was still there, will i be who i am this morning?
will i get up and make up and have junoaggy settled?
will i have my own money?
will i have my very own spotlight?
and will those kids run to me saying "coaccchh! we need you to teach us this!"
at a point i thanks god i have a friend who used to help me to move on. settle a brand new me. having tiny little blush like this made me grew.
and find my way back home.
maybe, if i still with him, i'm not who i used to be right now.
